"I've been single for awhile. What would you say is the best advice for wanting to be in a relationship again?" -Trang, 19
This is an awesome question because even though it is a very internal dilemma, many people deal with this and can relate on such a personal level. If you want to be in a relationship again, or think you want to be, you must first before anything else ask yourself a few questions. Are you ready to share your time with someone else? Are you ready to commit to one person? Are you ready to be open and honest with this one person in a lot of areas in your life? And lastly, are you ready to have fun?! If you answered yes to all of these questions then you are headed in the right direction!
It is human nature to want to be with someone after being single for so long. As people, we crave human interaction and human connection. So, wanting to be in a relationship is something most people desire and enjoy once they find that right person which leads me into my next point – finding the right person.
While we are single, we envision this perfect relationship for ourselves. We think about certain qualities we would want our partner to have and what they would do for us on all different levels. The hardest part is finding this person. If you have someone in mind you have already fought half the battle. But, we can’t rush this stage. Do we really want to get into a relationship with someone only to realize after a couple of weeks that this person isn’t the person you thought they were? This is why friendship should always come before a relationship. If you can’t be comfortable in a friendship you probably won’t be comfortable with this person in an intimate relationship. Friendship first, relationship second.
Another piece of advice I’d have is to keep an open mind when it comes to relationships and love. Just because you may be ready to be in a relationship doesn’t mean the person you like is ready to be in one. However, this isn’t meant to discourage you, it is meant to help you explore your options and the world around you. Sometimes, the best relationships work out when you least expect them to. What this really means is even if you have someone in mind, still go out to that party with your friends. Still do talk to other people and meet as many people as you can. You may come to find that even though you didn’t want to go to the mall with your BFFs on a Sunday afternoon that could actually lead to meeting someone you didn’t know and really hitting it off!
Lastly, I would say everything will fall into place. As much as you want to be in a relationship,** don’t try too hard.** Everything will happen when it’s supposed to happen. If you answered an honest ‘yes’ to all the questions I had you ask yourself in the beginning, then you are set. It is just figuring out who is right for you from here on out. And just to reiterate, never get down on yourself because the relationship doesn’t work itself out as fast as you would have thought. Turn it into a positive and live your life! You are young and have so much ahead of you in terms of relationships and love. You and your perfect match will find each other, until then keep an open mind and an open heart.
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