You have likely realized that we are obsessed with Tommy Dorfman's style: the 13 Reasons Why actor has a high-fashion personal aesthetic that is literally our everything – but now, the star revealed he almost completely abandoned his signature style in attempts to "fit in more." We've all (unfortunately) been in a situation where we thought our outfit was fire, only to have it picked apart by haters who just didn't understand the look. In a new Popsugar essay for Pride month, Tommy shared that after being a pretty confident kid, he caved to pressures to look more like everyone else.
"Growing up, I was always the 'weird kid' at school. I wore (mostly) girls' clothes, because I preferred girls' clothes. I was obsessive about dressing like the Spice Girls, which meant bell-bottoms, tube tops, and platform shoes. I had shaggy hair and my nails were always painted," he shared. "As I grew older, and thanks in part to years of bullying, I became self-conscious about not fitting in. The older I got, the meaner my peers got, and eventually I broke. I was sick of getting s–t for being different, so I laid to rest all of the quirks and queer tendencies and worked on blending in. I wore my older brother's clothes: baggy pants from PacSun, boxers, AirWalk skate shoes. Everything four sizes too big. It felt heavy. It became drag for me, a part to play to survive from grades five through nine."
Tommy also shared that he never made a big deal out of coming out, but dramatically changed how he acted and dressed while trying to find his most genuine self.
"Instead of telling people in school, I simply changed my Facebook info. I enjoyed hearing whispers in the hallway about it, an undercurrent of gossip from my peers. Instead of verbal confirmation, I used clothing and mannerisms attached to stereotypes of how I thought gay people were meant to act and dress," he wrote. "Overnight, I became as G-A-Y as possible. It was liberating. In an instant, I realized I could be anything I wanted, and for the rest of those very formative years, I wore many different hats. Assimilated and tried on different facets of queer culture, working through things to find my authenticity."
Now, Tommy wants to use his platform and experiences to make a real difference.
"I've started to remove myself from the sidelines and immerse myself in my community, engaging with all facets as much as possible to try to understand how I can best improve intersectionality and support those who are more marginalized than myself," he shared. "I am more aware of my privilege as a cis-passing, white, queer person who gets to create art as a profession; that I've been granted rights that others fought for me to have and lived very comfortably as a queer person up until this point. Now, I feel a responsibility to fight to keep the rights I inherited and, more importantly, do my best to support other members of the LGBTQ+ community who haven't had it as easy."