Rowan Blanchard has a way with words and she knows how to express herself and her innermost thoughts in the most eloquent of ways. She just recently wrote a piece where she analyzed the concept of apologizing and how young people, especially teenage girls, often feel the need to simply always say they're sorry when in reality, there is nothing to be sorry about.
"My codependent relationship with self-blame and self-deprecation, as a means of self-defense has held me tightly since I can remember. It has felt safer and less terrifying to silence myself to a degree, than to actually engage with people, and make them take responsibility for their own actions," Rowan explained. "Adolescence, specifically girl adolescence, is confusing. In, like, five seconds flat, you are 'too grown' to wear clothes that you wore a year before, and meanwhile, there you’re being taught, practically unconsciously, a bunch of guidelines: 'Apologize Always,' 'How to Put Other’s Happiness Before Urs.' This change, from the beginning to the middle of adolescence, can obviously really confuse a person; in every book, play, and movie the middle is where all the confusing, heightened-action stuff happens."
Rowan is only 14-years-old, so the fact she is so self-aware and vows to make changes in her life so she can enjoy the rest of her teenage years without feeling this way is truly commendable. She even gave suggestions as to how she consciously works to make sure she doesn't go back into the mindset of feeling the need to always apologize for just being herself.
"Here are three things that have helped me trust myself enough to know that I don’t always have to say sorry for myself:
What seems like the total end of the world, while valid, is not (usually) the end of the world in a week. And what seems like the total end of the world to YOU, while valid, is not necessarily the end of the world to the other person involved in the situation.
REALIZE THAT YOU CANNOT LIVE UP TO ANYONE OR ANYTHING. You can only do your best YOU. Not the “be you, and have yourself figured out and know everything about the world” you, but the you who knows that your role models, icons, and inspirations are not meant to make you feel bad that you cannot be like them.
Understand that you need to be able to be alone, and know that you are enough for yourself. Take pictures of yourself however you feel comfortable, and instead of looking at the first thing you hate about your appearance, find the first thing you like. In order to quit apologizing to other people, you must first and foremost learn to stop apologizing for being yourself to yourself."
And this is exactly why Rowan is the best.
What do you think about Rowan's essay? Tell us in the comments below!